Can't be friends

It's great how something new and wonderful and exciting in my life can make me totally forget about Matthew and Dover and the whole F-ing mess that was my life. Well mostly forget. I got an email from him about two weeks ago that said he was sorry for not talking to me for a while but he just wanted to get over what happened and "didn't really want to hate me anymore". I was completely shocked because I did not think I was ever going to hear from him again, or at least not for a looong time, and I hoped not to either. He told me how he was, what he's been doing, and how he's feeling quite a bit happier now (good for you dude), and gave me the option to write or call if I wanted. I did write an email back saying that I missed him and because of that I know I'm not yet ready to be friends... but I never sent it. A part of me wants to write a new email (because even just two weeks later the one I wrote is already out of date) and tell him that I'm glad he's in a better place now but no I don't want to be friends because, for one thing, I don't think it would be appropriate... :)

Can't stay away for too long. Have too much to say and can't say it all in facebook status messages! Well I really don't have much of anything to say with substance, but I've been doing this for too long (on various blogs) so I couldn't stay away forever.

THE END

My final post is to say thank you to everyone who commented with kind words and encouragement for me over the past several months, especially KJ and Lindsay.

Quote from The Notebook

~ Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, they have one thing in common. They're shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash they're gone.~

Still here - haven't posted because my computer died. Stay tuned...

Red Flag!

So let me tell you about how I don't pay attention to red flags...

I went on a date tonight. I met him on match.com, we IMed a few times and talked on the phone a couple times. He seemed nice and looked cute in his pictures, so I thought, hey why not meet up with him now since it's the weekend? I'm spontaneous like that. We decided to meet in New Jersey since that is halfway in between us. Can you guess where this guy lives? If you guessed DOVER you would be right! You'd also be right if you went on to assume he's an air force guy. Well, sort of - he's in the Guard and works on base as a civilian, but he was active duty in the AF for ten years.

He found me and initiated communication first, but as much as I want to deny it, even though I knew it was a bad idea to talk to this guy, I guess it felt like maybe I could replace Matthew with him. Of course I didn't realize this at first but maybe if I looked more closely at the situation and thought more about it before I jumped, then I totally would not have met him. Nobody could ever replace Matthew...

Anyway. It was a huge mistake but yet another lesson learned. I cried for a while on the drive back. I texted him but of course got no response. Oh the New Jersey Turnpike. How I loathe thee. I swear I will not travel beyond NYC for a long time.

Let me tell you a bit about this date:
-We had dinner at Chili's. At first I thought he was kidding, but obviously not. Now of course I'm fine with Chili's, but not for a first date.
-He was wearing a white baseball cap that said Dickies on it and when he took it off he had major hat hair and indentions on his forehead and the back of his head. A striped button-down shirt that really needed to be ironed. Baggy blue jeans. White running sneakers. NOT the kind of outfit anyone should wear on a first date and NOT one that I would be impressed with EVER. It made the time I took to get all ready seem like such a waste. I'm sorry if that sounds b!tchy but it's true.

I'm not going to allow myself to date anyone that is not within reasonable driving distance and especially not someone who is in the military. Too bad for that Marine I've been talking to who lives in Virginia...

God, what is my problem? Please people, don't answer that. I know what my problem is, and I also know the answer...

Things are looking good...

Real, real good!

I got a job and I start on Monday! And it seems like a job that I'm going to like! I'm so excited to start working there! I have my own freakin office! What's not to like?! Plus I got a raise! YES!

I'm over it. FINALLY!!! Like really... over it!!

Good luck to ya... I know I'll be better without ya!