31 October 2008
Going private
I get a good amount of hits on my blog everyday, and since I have Sitemeter I know I have several regular readers. I'd rather not have so many anonymous readers anymore, some of which I know I have had for a long time, so I'm going to go private soon. If you'd like to keep reading, please send me your email address (you can find mine in my profile) and I'll add you to the reader list.
29 October 2008
28 October 2008
27 October 2008
Don't Let Me Get Me
Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
I can't take the person starin' back at me
I'm a hazard to myself
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
It's bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
I can't take the person starin' back at me
I'm a hazard to myself
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
It's bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
26 October 2008
No webcam here
Reading this reminds me of the time when I highly suggested to ex-DB that we get webcams and he quickly turned me down and said it was not something he was interested in doing. He almost acted like it was comical that I even suggested it, and wouldn't even give it a second thought, wouldn't even look at them (we were in Best Buy at the time). He said he'd feel weird chatting with video, even though I was kind enough to let him borrow my laptop to take on missions and he could use it in the privacy of his room, if there was wifi of course, which there usually wasn't. I felt so rejected and could only think of other military girlfriends/wives who use webcams to communicate and love it. I really think it was just a hint at the beginning of the end.
God, do I miss him...
God, do I miss him...
25 October 2008
24 October 2008
hello again
Hello. My name is Sara. No more AFG. I'm so glad I can use my real name now that I'm not with DB... or, uh, Former DB. Of course I tried to be as anonymous as I could to protect ex-DB... omg he's my ex... whatever... but I don't have to anymore and I like that.
Considering the fact that I don't have a job or a home to call my own right now, I'm doing okay. I mean, how can I be stuck in the past, wishing for what we had and what we could've been, when he has said to me, "I'm not in love with you anymore", and he's acting like we were never even in love. No more crying (although I haven't done much of that). It's not worth it. Time to move on! I'm looking forward to bigger and better things!!
All other issues aside, being a military girlfriend sucked. I mean, I'm more proud of him than I've ever been of anyone I've ever met (and that will never change), but I was not and never would have been first place in his life. He made that very clear. And that's understandable. Okay, besides God, who always gets first place. I could say more about this, but it's really not necessary anymore.
At times like these, it's good to have friends. I'm so thankful for the many good friends that I have. Seriously though, I have been so blessed lately by friends that I haven't spoken to in as much as 10 years who have taken the time to be there for me, to talk, chat, hang out, whatever. I actually can't believe it. I hope one day I can be as good of friend to them as they have been to me.
So... now onto the issue of this blog. Obviously I have to change the title. To what, I have no idea yet. I created it for the purpose of documenting my time with Matthew (oops, yup that's his name), moving in and living with him. Now that I'm not with him anymore and living back in CT, the purpose of writing has changed. I'll also probably end up changing the URL name. Of course this is not considered a "milblog" anymore, and honestly I'm no longer reading most of the milblogs that I used to keep up with (except a few favorites), but I hope my regular readers will continue to stop by here. Please drop me a comment too, I'd love to hear from you.
Right now I'm thinking about a career change. I had worked as a medical secretary at the hospital for almost 10 years and I know for sure that is NOT what I want to do anymore. I took a career test online (a reputable one) and the results were not too encouraging. The top result was makeup artist... seriously, I don't even wear much makeup at all. Other interesting matches were zookeeper, special effects technician, costume designer, archeologist, photographer, enlisted member of the armed forces (haha yeah right!). When I was little, I always wanted to be a homemaker. Then a flight attendant. Then an Egyptologist (like an archeologist who specializes in all things Egypt). My greatest desire is still to be a homemaker. I want to one day dedicate myself to raising a family. That's not unattainable, just something I have to wait for. I'm not totally ruling out flight attendant because I think it says something about you if you've had the same interest for most of your life. I love flying, I love airports, and since I'm not tied down by anything or anyone right now, it would be a good experience for me. Maybe one day I could end up an air traffic controller, who knows! The first career I'm considering right now is photographer. I love taking pictures - in fact, in the six months that Matthew and I were together, I alone took over 900 pictures, just of things related to us. I'm going to see if there is some kind of photography class I can take and see what happens.
So that's it for now!
Considering the fact that I don't have a job or a home to call my own right now, I'm doing okay. I mean, how can I be stuck in the past, wishing for what we had and what we could've been, when he has said to me, "I'm not in love with you anymore", and he's acting like we were never even in love. No more crying (although I haven't done much of that). It's not worth it. Time to move on! I'm looking forward to bigger and better things!!
All other issues aside, being a military girlfriend sucked. I mean, I'm more proud of him than I've ever been of anyone I've ever met (and that will never change), but I was not and never would have been first place in his life. He made that very clear. And that's understandable. Okay, besides God, who always gets first place. I could say more about this, but it's really not necessary anymore.
At times like these, it's good to have friends. I'm so thankful for the many good friends that I have. Seriously though, I have been so blessed lately by friends that I haven't spoken to in as much as 10 years who have taken the time to be there for me, to talk, chat, hang out, whatever. I actually can't believe it. I hope one day I can be as good of friend to them as they have been to me.
So... now onto the issue of this blog. Obviously I have to change the title. To what, I have no idea yet. I created it for the purpose of documenting my time with Matthew (oops, yup that's his name), moving in and living with him. Now that I'm not with him anymore and living back in CT, the purpose of writing has changed. I'll also probably end up changing the URL name. Of course this is not considered a "milblog" anymore, and honestly I'm no longer reading most of the milblogs that I used to keep up with (except a few favorites), but I hope my regular readers will continue to stop by here. Please drop me a comment too, I'd love to hear from you.
Right now I'm thinking about a career change. I had worked as a medical secretary at the hospital for almost 10 years and I know for sure that is NOT what I want to do anymore. I took a career test online (a reputable one) and the results were not too encouraging. The top result was makeup artist... seriously, I don't even wear much makeup at all. Other interesting matches were zookeeper, special effects technician, costume designer, archeologist, photographer, enlisted member of the armed forces (haha yeah right!). When I was little, I always wanted to be a homemaker. Then a flight attendant. Then an Egyptologist (like an archeologist who specializes in all things Egypt). My greatest desire is still to be a homemaker. I want to one day dedicate myself to raising a family. That's not unattainable, just something I have to wait for. I'm not totally ruling out flight attendant because I think it says something about you if you've had the same interest for most of your life. I love flying, I love airports, and since I'm not tied down by anything or anyone right now, it would be a good experience for me. Maybe one day I could end up an air traffic controller, who knows! The first career I'm considering right now is photographer. I love taking pictures - in fact, in the six months that Matthew and I were together, I alone took over 900 pictures, just of things related to us. I'm going to see if there is some kind of photography class I can take and see what happens.
So that's it for now!
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