24 February 2011
Hey deployment... YOU SUCK.
Feeling really bitter lately about this whole deployment thing. Don't have anything nice to say, so I will say nothing at all.
22 February 2011
A bit bitter maybe? More like a lot.
"How is he doing?!" "Can I have his address?" "What time is it there?!" "Wow he's deployed?!" "Do you get to talk?" "What is he doing?" "Is it like normal work?" "Does he need anything?" "Can I send him something?"
HELLO PEOPLE. He chose this life. He's been doing it for almost 20 years. HE CAN MANAGE JUST FINE. Trust me. Me on the other hand?! I could use a little attention. HE'S FINE. We live in a world with internet and wifi... you wanna send a fucking letter?! Did you even ask how I'm doing?! I'm the one who's stress is manifesting physically. I'm the one who has to live in our house and sleep in our bed alone. I'm the one who just has to carry on like this doesn't affect me. Because WOW he's deployed?! OMG. Yeah, he is. You never heard of such a thing?! And the fucking kicker today... he told people on facebook to email him if anyone wants his address. SOLICITING?! That's what put me over the edge tonight. So pissed off I feel like screaming. The people left behind don't matter.
HELLO PEOPLE. He chose this life. He's been doing it for almost 20 years. HE CAN MANAGE JUST FINE. Trust me. Me on the other hand?! I could use a little attention. HE'S FINE. We live in a world with internet and wifi... you wanna send a fucking letter?! Did you even ask how I'm doing?! I'm the one who's stress is manifesting physically. I'm the one who has to live in our house and sleep in our bed alone. I'm the one who just has to carry on like this doesn't affect me. Because WOW he's deployed?! OMG. Yeah, he is. You never heard of such a thing?! And the fucking kicker today... he told people on facebook to email him if anyone wants his address. SOLICITING?! That's what put me over the edge tonight. So pissed off I feel like screaming. The people left behind don't matter.
21 February 2011
Tragic.
My aunt was killed this morning in a head on collision with a semi truck. There are no other words.
20 February 2011
Skype
Ok I gotta take a break from the Photo challenge because I've had some things to say and I've put it off to keep on the challenge...
We finally got hooked up with webcams. The first moment I saw his face and heard his voice, I cried. I didn't know I'd feel so emotional about it but it made me miss him so much more. His internet is sketchy so it cut out after about 5 minutes but that was fine because my microphone was not working and I was upset.
We have talked about getting tablets (like iPad) so he can easily carry it with him and I can skype during my lunch break. With the time difference, it our only chance to "talk". So last night I bought the Galaxy Tab. I chose it because, well, besides there not being many to choose from, it's the only one I found with a front facing camera. Also, I prefer Android devices and I didn't want to wait for the new iPad (with the front camera) to come out and plus I'm sure it's going to cost hundreds more than the Tab. I've been playing with it constantly and it's kind of funny because it feels like a giant version of my Droid Incredible.
The only thing is... can't video chat between tablet and computer. Uhhggg!!! Seriously?! The techy geniuses out there can't make something for people in my/our situation to easily keep in touch?! I suppose I'll have to lug my laptop back and forth to work everyday because this tablet skype idea is not going to work until he gets one too... which is going to be a long time. If anyone out there has any ideas or suggestions, please share!
On a final positive note, we got to video chat for a long time today! We even played a game of checkers online together! It felt strange and sad at times thinking this was the best contact we'd have for a long time, but it was really awesome to talk and see each other in real time and feel closer to each other. It's scary to think of what's still ahead, but we are both trying to do our best with what we have.
We finally got hooked up with webcams. The first moment I saw his face and heard his voice, I cried. I didn't know I'd feel so emotional about it but it made me miss him so much more. His internet is sketchy so it cut out after about 5 minutes but that was fine because my microphone was not working and I was upset.
We have talked about getting tablets (like iPad) so he can easily carry it with him and I can skype during my lunch break. With the time difference, it our only chance to "talk". So last night I bought the Galaxy Tab. I chose it because, well, besides there not being many to choose from, it's the only one I found with a front facing camera. Also, I prefer Android devices and I didn't want to wait for the new iPad (with the front camera) to come out and plus I'm sure it's going to cost hundreds more than the Tab. I've been playing with it constantly and it's kind of funny because it feels like a giant version of my Droid Incredible.
The only thing is... can't video chat between tablet and computer. Uhhggg!!! Seriously?! The techy geniuses out there can't make something for people in my/our situation to easily keep in touch?! I suppose I'll have to lug my laptop back and forth to work everyday because this tablet skype idea is not going to work until he gets one too... which is going to be a long time. If anyone out there has any ideas or suggestions, please share!
On a final positive note, we got to video chat for a long time today! We even played a game of checkers online together! It felt strange and sad at times thinking this was the best contact we'd have for a long time, but it was really awesome to talk and see each other in real time and feel closer to each other. It's scary to think of what's still ahead, but we are both trying to do our best with what we have.
18 February 2011
17 February 2011
Day 4 - Favorite Photograph of My Best Friend
Of course my best friend is also the love of my life, and this is one of my favorite pictures of him. There are many different sides to this man, and one of them is that he is a DJ in New York City on the weekends. I took this pic of him when we were hanging out in the back room of his club.
16 February 2011
Day 3 - Photo of myself and how my day was
Well gosh, isn't just fitting AGAIN that I just happen to take a picture of myself in my brand new sweatshirt that my DB sent me today, and today is when I need to post such a picture! He's been on the move a lot over the past couple days but today he was able to sneak in a few VERY short phone calls just to say "love you" and we chatted on AIM for a bit too! So because of that I had a great day but when I got home to find a package at my door (seriously, the 4th one in the last week!) and then when I opened it to find what he sent me, my day was made even better! He had a silver dog tag engraved with our names, our anniversary date and "luv 4 evr", a t-shirt that says "I <3 My Soldier", a Blue Star flag for the window, a Blue Star lapel pin, and a Blue Star challenge coin that can be engraved with his name. Plus various pins and magnets for his family. Now, I'm not a materialistic person at all, but receiving gifts to the point of feeling SPOILED does help a girl feel a little better ;) He has totally outdone himself and he hasn't even been gone 3 weeks yet! Did I mention the Tiffany's ring and a box full of 6 pairs of shoes... yes SIX! It still all pales in comparison when I hear him say, "I love you more and more everyday".
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