It's starting to get difficult now. My stress level is pretty high most of the time. I miss him terribly. Communication has decreased a lot. He doesn't have internet access for the foreseeable future. We don't know why, it's just shut off. Satellite phone is/has been a possibility but is mostly unreliable, which is very frustrating.
I did get to speak to him briefly last night and told him that my nieces were spending the weekend with me. He asked me where they were sleeping and I said "my bed". So he says, "your bed?" I corrected myself and said, "I mean, our bed, but it feels like it's just my bed now".
I'm totally drained. I keep telling him that I don't think I can do this much longer, but he only gets upset at me (read: angry, frustrated, etc). I say what's ahead of us is daunting. He says it may be, but it's not insurmountable.
Easy for him to say.
Two hours of my day is spent commuting to and from work - to a job I don't like in a state I don't live - but really that's four hours out of my day if you factor in the hour it takes me to get ready in the morning and the hour it takes me to settle in after I get home from work (changing, nuking dinner, planning the next day's lunch, unwinding...).
I hate my life right now. I'm grateful that I have a job and a home, because a lot of people don't even have those things, but I'm becoming very unhappy.
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