THE END

My final post is to say thank you to everyone who commented with kind words and encouragement for me over the past several months, especially KJ and Lindsay.

Quote from The Notebook

~ Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, they have one thing in common. They're shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash they're gone.~

Still here - haven't posted because my computer died. Stay tuned...

Red Flag!

So let me tell you about how I don't pay attention to red flags...

I went on a date tonight. I met him on match.com, we IMed a few times and talked on the phone a couple times. He seemed nice and looked cute in his pictures, so I thought, hey why not meet up with him now since it's the weekend? I'm spontaneous like that. We decided to meet in New Jersey since that is halfway in between us. Can you guess where this guy lives? If you guessed DOVER you would be right! You'd also be right if you went on to assume he's an air force guy. Well, sort of - he's in the Guard and works on base as a civilian, but he was active duty in the AF for ten years.

He found me and initiated communication first, but as much as I want to deny it, even though I knew it was a bad idea to talk to this guy, I guess it felt like maybe I could replace Matthew with him. Of course I didn't realize this at first but maybe if I looked more closely at the situation and thought more about it before I jumped, then I totally would not have met him. Nobody could ever replace Matthew...

Anyway. It was a huge mistake but yet another lesson learned. I cried for a while on the drive back. I texted him but of course got no response. Oh the New Jersey Turnpike. How I loathe thee. I swear I will not travel beyond NYC for a long time.

Let me tell you a bit about this date:
-We had dinner at Chili's. At first I thought he was kidding, but obviously not. Now of course I'm fine with Chili's, but not for a first date.
-He was wearing a white baseball cap that said Dickies on it and when he took it off he had major hat hair and indentions on his forehead and the back of his head. A striped button-down shirt that really needed to be ironed. Baggy blue jeans. White running sneakers. NOT the kind of outfit anyone should wear on a first date and NOT one that I would be impressed with EVER. It made the time I took to get all ready seem like such a waste. I'm sorry if that sounds b!tchy but it's true.

I'm not going to allow myself to date anyone that is not within reasonable driving distance and especially not someone who is in the military. Too bad for that Marine I've been talking to who lives in Virginia...

God, what is my problem? Please people, don't answer that. I know what my problem is, and I also know the answer...

Things are looking good...

Real, real good!

I got a job and I start on Monday! And it seems like a job that I'm going to like! I'm so excited to start working there! I have my own freakin office! What's not to like?! Plus I got a raise! YES!

I'm over it. FINALLY!!! Like really... over it!!

Good luck to ya... I know I'll be better without ya!

Happy New Year

Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
All this I know but still
I can't find ways to let you go

I never had a dream come true
Till that day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

Somewhere in my memory I lost all sense of time
And tomorrow can never be
'Cause yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still
I can't find ways to let you go

You'll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will, you know you will, baby
You'll always be the one I know I'll never forget
There's no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try
I just can't say goodbye

A part of me will always be with you...

Merry Christmas

I haven't posted in a while but boy do I have a lot to say. I don't have time now to write but I will say this...

1. My first "real" love got engaged on Christmas Day.
2. I haven't heard from my real REAL love in what seems like a long time.

But the best part about that is - I DON'T WANT TO HEAR FROM HIM!! I don't even want to see his face!

I guess I've reached the "angry stage". But I did get a Christmas card from him, which was closed "See you soon. Love, Matthew. My mom got a card too. In fact, oddly enough, I think he's talked to her more than he's talked to me lately. Well, we haven't even talked lately. I wished him a happy birthday on the 24th but neither one of us contacted the other on Christmas Day. And I'm so glad for that because it brings a little bit more closure.

Getting through Christmas without him was easier than I thought it would be. Although it was hard at times because I was supposed to be with him visiting his family and attending his brother's wedding. But if you know anything about his brother's new wife then you know I was much better off not being there!! So I am actually glad I didn't go!

I have some good news though. I went out on a date on Christmas eve and I have two more dates, with different guys, on Monday and Tuesday. Don't read too much into that - no it's not rebound and no I do NOT sleep around. To me it's more meeting up as friends than it is dating, but the word "date" sounds better :) At least I'm going out and having fun. Or trying to anyway.