05 March 2009
Can't be friends
It's great how something new and wonderful and exciting in my life can make me totally forget about Matthew and Dover and the whole F-ing mess that was my life. Well mostly forget. I got an email from him about two weeks ago that said he was sorry for not talking to me for a while but he just wanted to get over what happened and "didn't really want to hate me anymore". I was completely shocked because I did not think I was ever going to hear from him again, or at least not for a looong time, and I hoped not to either. He told me how he was, what he's been doing, and how he's feeling quite a bit happier now (good for you dude), and gave me the option to write or call if I wanted. I did write an email back saying that I missed him and because of that I know I'm not yet ready to be friends... but I never sent it. A part of me wants to write a new email (because even just two weeks later the one I wrote is already out of date) and tell him that I'm glad he's in a better place now but no I don't want to be friends because, for one thing, I don't think it would be appropriate... :)
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1 comment:
You still have feelings for him, it's quite evident. You are scared, of him hurting you again but more so of the idea that you allowed it, exposing a vulnerability. Your scared he might get too close again. You have all the right to be, but also, you have the right to do something about it. For my input, a male perspective, I'll say, give him a chance at a friendship, if you don't, you'll just keep running. Eventually, however, you will run out of breath, and that's when things truly get emotional.
Just a random Passer byer.
Feel free
IntellectualSmitty@gmail.com
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