02 May 2009
i hate silence. almost 30. no end in sight. everything "real" is of no substance. the only thing i live for is knowing i'm the world to one person, and i can't let her down. so bored, always bored. waiting, always waiting. it's the worst. about as bad as being anxious. but not nearly as bad as feeling forgotten, unimportant, unwanted.
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4 comments:
My unfinished post. You should create one, or finish this one. It'll explain alot.
The Story
In our wildest dreams, fantasies conjured from thoughts we envisioned, our lives vivid but fiction, our stories. We sit there contemplating, wishing everything can be different, better, lesser of worst. Don’t we all. So I sit here saying to myself, why? A question that revolves around my mind constantly with no intentions or motive to answer itself. I am not sure if there is an answer for such a powerful triad of letters. So why should I seek what is unknown, possibly even of nonexistence. My story that’s why. I need to fulfill my story, end what has begun. I am here to tell and hopefully learn of what’s to come.
I chase dreams, handicapped from a damaged dream catcher. Told I would never amount, yet was never taught the total. So I continued my quest, me, a knight without armor, searching for something distant, or maybe itself, distance. I retract from the surroundings, the mould fitted around us. The light burns my eyes, but beauty it reins. My skin in contact of beautiful rain. I am flourished with its cold, wet droplets, multitude of replenishments, yet the roar of thunder accompanies it. The flash of lights, terrorizing all in which is present. This stumble in life, me knowing it would always be. The pain aches inside of me, robbing the breath of me. Suffocation prone, yet I still managed to take that small whiff of air and encapsulate it within my lungs, enough for another step forward. So I troop on, fear plaguing my mind. I never knew what fear I feared. I only feared of not knowing. So I will not know when fear will strike. I found that if fear were to strike, a fight, I would give it. Yet I don’t know if I’ll come out victorious.
Thanks for the comment. Very interesting and ponderous (is that a word?) I would like to hear more from you.
Well I need a reason too.. you should keep posting and surely I will stick around... is surely a word? For April 25 post, it reminds me of Pop Evil- 100 on 55. Youtube it.
You nailed it.
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