Crying. Thinking of you. Want to be there. Can imagine being there, can see every inch of the place, and it's torture. The porch, the chairs. The living room, the couch. The kitchen. My room. Your room. My bathroom. Your bathroom. Watering the lawn. You picking me up and holding me under the sprinkler. Everything is a reminder. Especially now that it's almost been a year. Philadelphia. D.C. Dover. Best time of my life. I pray for you every day. So scared but know you will be ok. So proud of you. Every time i see an airplane i think of how proud i am of you. I miss you. More than words could ever, ever express.

The most heartbreaking thing about all of this is... you told me you don't feel the same way... that you don't ever see us being together again. So all i can do is love you in secret. And pray to God for your safety.