Wow yesterday and last night was a complete disaster. I don't even want to write about it because I want it erased from my memory forever. What a way to spend my last day being in my 20s. The only possibly good thing that came out of yesterday was that I realized I am alone in this world. I cannot rely on anybody but myself. I am so disappointed I want to move away and never speak to anyone again. One day soon I hope to do that. Uhh, again.
It all seriously feels like a bad joke. Or like punishment. Yeah it must be punishment. Last night, sitting on a casino bench, all dressed up, by myself because the only friend who would come with me cancelled last minute, while the two family members with me were gambling, people walking by having a great time, me just sitting there trying sooo hard not to cry. It was like I was invisible in the world. Not like... I am.
So, I'm 30 now. And still alive, unfortunately. At times like this I really wonder about my purpose. No plans tonight for dinner or anything, no phone calls to wish me a happy birthday.
I am removing myself for my own protection.
1 comment:
Happy birthday for whatever it is worth, happy mother's day if that applies.
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